Two Count Auctioneer

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Bryce Angell

On Tuesdays, while growing up, we’d head to the cattle sale. I’d sit next to my father, back behind the cable rail.

And being young and curious, like boys at eight years old, I quickly learned the breed of cows while they were being sold.

I soon discovered black and whites were dairy in their make. And steers with bawley faces soon would be a T-bone steak.

But most of all the time I spent while at the cattle sale, was listening to the auctioneers. Their voice could sing a tale.

No auctioneer would sound the same. They rattled out their style. My mind would wander from the cows. Just listening was worthwhile.

I could not rightly figure how they auctioneered so fast. And hollered out the numbers, not a one to be outclassed.

Well, that was sixty years ago, still vivid in my brain. To be an auctioneer might yet be something to attain.

So, I opened up the Internet and watched a video. The auctioneer was rattling and now I know I’m too danged slow.

‘Cuz I couldn’t wrap my tongue around my worn-out crooked teeth. My doubt was taking over, causing me some disbelief.

But then I found an auction chant just right for this old kid. It goes, “I’m bid one dollar, now two, now two dollar bid.”

I practiced that one-liner for a week or maybe two. And came to realize I’m introducing something new.

My family won’t believe their ears. An auctioneer I’ll be. Who knows, I might be famous. I’ll sign autographs for free!

So, if you need an auctioneer who only counts to two. Then, pardner, I’m your man. I’ll auctioneer until I’m blue.


— Bryce Angell

Bryce AngellThe outdoors has always been a large part of my life. My father was an outfitter and guide for 35 years and I was there to shoe and care for the horses and help him do the cooking. We took many great trips into the Yellowstone area. Even now that I’m older, we still ride into the Tetons, Yellowstone and surrounding areas. My poems are mostly of personal experience. I am now retired and enjoying life to the fullest. I plan to do more riding and writing.

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