We loaded up the horses, then we headed for the hills. We were gonna spend a week outdoors with no more daily frills.
I glanced down at the clock. The red light brightened up the dash. The clock said two, so then I checked my wallet for some cash.
We drove into McDonald’s, ate their pancakes on the run. We had waited for a year, and now were out to have some fun.
We traveled most the night, then pulled into our camping spot, when Mother Nature made a call—I call it her cheap shot.
So now I felt the doggone urge to crouch behind a bush. I still had old-time modesty. “Ain’t showin’ my old tush.”
Each cowboy made a dash behind a boulder or a tree. I was prayin’ they had tissue ‘cuz I needed mine for me.
We commenced to set up camp and every cowboy knew his chore. But the building of a privy sure was what we needed more.
So, one fellow dug a hole and then he cobbled up a seat. He wrapped a tarp around it and we called it our new Suite.
Now it sure ain’t rocket science how we sleep the whole night long. But the minute you see sunshine that old feeling comes on strong.
I hurried down to our new Suite. But there a line ensued. One cowboy yelled, “Back to the rear!” and said it kinda crude.
The times goes by so slowly when you’re waiting for the throne. So, we entertained ourselves by listening to our bellies groan.
Thank heaven for one cowboy—he’s the builder of the bunch. He said, “I’ve done some thinking and for dang sure got a hunch.”
We cowboys aren’t the brightest, but we all can count to two. Now we call our Suite,“Two-Holer,” cuz there’s room for me and you.
— Bryce Angell