By JoEllen Collins
Too many events occurring in a short period of time can cause extreme stress. Some may be happy, such as marriage, a baby’s birth, or moving to a better job or home; some are sad, such as deaths of family or friends, job loss, a circle of acquaintances suddenly scattered, a broken romance, or divorce. Whether positive or negative, these events tumbling together may signal a period of despair.
Today, we are experiencing the pandemic, fires, floods, hurricanes, civil and political unrest, racial injustice, and a huge blow to even normal economic security. I know people who are also suffering from the loss of beloved friends or pets, some kind of accident, illness, or dealing with the anxiety of others during difficult family issues. Now these personal strains fall on top of a dangerous time of public insecurity.
One assumes that the piling up of these events in the past eight months, with only a glimmer of hope that we can return to some semblance of normality as individuals and country, is what has stimulated an increase in severe cases of mental stress and suicide. We may even be isolated from accessing help. To put more ice on the iceberg’s tip, the absence of physical touch and support may be the greatest loss. Media contacts just don’t suffice.
I am not a psychologist, so I lack the knowledge to effectively ease the serious emotional consequences of this plethora of painful events. I cannot judge anyone’s struggle with the concept of suicide Fortunately, that has never been an option for me. Even in the worst of times, I am able to find a reason to prefer life, as corny as that sounds.
Agatha Christie agreed, saying: “I like living. I have been wildly, despairingly, acutely miserable, racked with sorrow, but through it all I still know quite certainly that just to be alive is a grand thing.”
What can we do with this sadness?
I hope we can help others remember the simple pleasures of life, perhaps a path out of our despair. At least we can wave, smile under our masks, call or write actual letters to friends we haven’t seen lately, tell those we appreciate and love that we do, spend less time angry at the hatred evident on the media, try to laugh often (like tuning in old, funny TV sketches), and read works that may provide relief. Adopting a pet might restore some of that need for positive touch. Going outside in our magnificent surroundings is essential. Some dance to good music in their living rooms. We might revisit an activity we have neglected under the pressures of former days, like creating art or playing a musical instrument. Having a gratitude list reminds us of our blessings.
Finally, we can turn angst into action by advocating for others, supporting wonderful nonprofits like NAMI, The Hunger Coalition or The Advocates for Survivors of Domestic Violence, and for ourselves, reading helpful notices from St. Luke’s and connecting with our community of faith.