BY FRAN JEWELL
In our little valley, we expound about how dog-friendly this community is. In reality, in the past two days I have had more people tell me that they feel such extreme pressure to have the “perfect dog” from other community members. While the valley may be “dog-friendly,” it is not always friendly to the owners of other dogs. A recent incident drove this home for me, personally, and it has brought so many thoughts to consider.
The reality of the situation is that there simply is no perfect dog. All dogs have flaws, just like every person does. Some have flaws that can be addressed and changed for the better. And, unfortunately, some have flaws that go so deep there is no rehabilitation. Dogs are another species that we have worked hard to understand, but many times we do not.
The pressure here can be devastating to any dog owner, and many times to the dogs themselves. Owners that have a dog with severe behavior flaws that are hardwired and now habitual find it so difficult to accept that the dog cannot be rehabilitated. They spend so much time, energy and money trying desperately to conform to the community standard that all dogs must be perfect. In the meantime, the dog lives with so much pressure to change that they slip deeper into neurotic behaviors. This doesn’t even take into consideration how the owner feels with a deep sense of failure when their dog is not able to be rehabilitated.
Then there are owners whose dogs are out of control, but live in denial that the dog is an issue with other dogs or people. The owner becomes defensive and even outright belligerent when called on the fact that their dog is out of control.
There are the dogs that are becoming rehabilitated nicely, but an incident happens that is unexpected, or simply an accident. There is so much public shame for the one failure that the owner now feels completely overwhelmed and ready to give in.
I know I have a taste for the perfect dog. I love dogs that are well-behaved and I strive personally to help owners make that happen for their dog. I also strive for that in my own dogs and have had to accept that even my dogs have their flaws. As a dog-training instructor, I also have to take great care to not put my own desires upon the needs of each owner that I work with.
So, what is the solution to all this perfectionism conflict in our valley? I think that first is that we be supportive of those that are genuinely trying to work with their dogs. When accidents or incidents happen, we need to have some compassion, but we also need to work hard at preventing them from happening. Let’s not deny problems our own dogs have. Let’s not be defensive and belligerent when an incident happens. Incidents are traumatic for everyone involved, whether your dog or someone else’s dog has an issue. Let’s face the problem with kindness, compassion and thoughtfulness for the dogs and for the owners. But, let’s also do our homework, be honest about our own dogs and do the best we can to be responsible and keep our own dogs safe, and keep others safe. Backstabbing and social condemnation do little to change anything except to fuel more fires and unrest, making the problems even more difficult to deal with.
Fran Jewell is an Idaho Press Club award-winning columnist, IAABC-certified dog behavior consultant, NADOI-certified instructor #1096 and the owner of Positive Puppy Dog Training, LLC, in Sun Valley. For more information, visit www.positivepuppy.com or call (208) 578-1565.