Pisces: While Clouds doesn’t completely agree with Eckhart Tolle, we can all agree on this quote from the self-help guru: “Just be and enjoy being.” Please let this be a reminder that you don’t have to see eye-to-eye with everybody to get something positive and enjoyable from them. In fact, sometimes it’s best to see eye-to-bellybutton.
Aries: Aries can be hard on themselves and others for imperfections. But nothing in life is perfect for very long. That’s why we need to accept our imperfections for the unique beauty they bring to our lives. That’s also why your lucky lyrics come from James Bay: “And the world will turn and we’ll grow, we’ll learn how to be to be incomplete.”
Taurus: The key to survival is to make sure the fire burning inside of you is stronger than any fire burning around you. Unless, of course, you’re in water, in which case a life jacket, a foam noodle and a margarita should do the trick. So try not to take things too seriously or to let all the insanity kick you in the crotch.
Gemini: Here are your questionable mottos for the next two weeks: A) Exercise? Let’s make that extra fries. B) You don’t always have to seize the day. Sometimes you can just poke it with a stick. S) Most of my brain wants to go to sleep while some of it is wondering about things like whether or not penguins have knees.
Cancer: The gift of this sign is your ability to make others feel exceptionally loved and cared for. The downside is that the rest of us can’t do it nearly so well for you. To help, please pretend we wrote this song from the X Ambassadors for you: “Beat the drum. Sing off key. Set me free … Cause you’re so gorgeous, cause you make me feel gorgeous.”
Leo: Saturn and Pluto will be in opposition this year. It happens once every 30 years or so. Although the last time it happened was in 2001, and we all remember how that one went—it started the damn Patriots Dynasty. That’s why your words of wisdom for the new year will both encompass fellow Leo, Tom Brady. 1) Courtesy of Wes Mantooth, “I pure, straight hate you, but damn, I do respect you.” 2) From the Goat, “I think sometimes in life the biggest challenges end up being the best things that happen in your life.”
Virgo: Virgos tend to be stoic, but that doesn’t mean that you’re not burning with passion on the inside. It’s just that you hide it better than most of us. To help you spark your inner fire, try one of these lines on someone you’d like to get hot with: A) From Soshinie A. Singh, “All that you thought dead, allow me to water it back to life.” X) From Clouds, “I’m going to call you Chamomile, because your such a hot–tea.”
Libra: In numerology, 2020 is considered both a 22 and a 4 (2+2) year. These are both promising numbers; 22 is the number of mastery, so expect to be help make some of your dreams as well as the dreams of others come true. And 4 is the number of spirituality, harvest and Bobby Orr. So, expect to score lots of goals, both on and off the ice, this year.
Scorpio: There’s a relatively new saying that goes, “If you line up all your exes in a row can see the flow chart of your metal illness.” While self-reflection isn’t usually a Scorpio strong suit, it might be good to spend time reflecting on anything that you’re repressing and is blocking you from fulfillment. This saying might help: “The bedroom is the poor man’s opera.”
Sagittarius: This much we know is true: 1) Laughter is an important part of your well-being so you need regular hits of it. 2) It’s okay if sometimes your ideal threesome is you, a six-pack and some tacos. 3) If you can’t do anything about it, it’s best to let it go. 4) Spellcheck can be your best friend or your worst enema.
Capricorn: The great thing about being thankful is that being so automatically attracts more reasons for you to feel that way. To help you be more thankful, be sure to always tip your server well and to take on this kind of attitude, “I’m thankful that craft breweries make my drinking problem seem like a hobby.”
Aquarius: To make the most out of this next blessed year of your life, do most of these things: Wake up every day and decide to be happy. Keep trying. Hug more often. Allow yourself to be both the big spoon and the little spoon. Do what you love. Be thankful. Be kind. Try to share the kind of boot knockin’ that blows your mind. Stay weird.