Local woman writes on the power of the dying process
BY MARIA PREKEGES
With many people celebrating Mother’s Day this past month, it seems fitting to announce a book written by a local Wood River Valley resident that takes people on a special journey between a mother and daughter, in one of the most intense times of their lives.
“Launching Vee’s Chariot: An End-of-Life Tale” is published and will be on shelves soon. Kate Riley, Vee’s daughter, is the author of the book, which takes the reader on a voyage unlike any other and deals with a subject many don’t want to talk about – end of life.
When it comes to the subject of death, many people shy away from talking about it. Perhaps it’s just the fear of the unknown. Many children don’t want to talk with their parents about it as it’s just too hard to fathom. It’s too hard to think about a world without them. But in today’s society, that is slowly changing. Slowly changing with people like Kate and her book. And really changing, with people like her mother, Vee Riley, who found the courage to die with dignity, the way she wanted to.
Vee was diagnosed with cancer – nine malignant tumors, to be exact. After she was diagnosed, Vee made it clear to her family that she wanted to die a conscious death. She wanted to die in her home with her family by her side. Vee was an artist who was also a writer who contributed to The Weekly Sun. Her artist side shone through after her diagnosis. Vee decided to create her own cremation container as part of her ‘conscious death.’ She then decided to collage the cremation container. After she finished this incredible work of art, she placed a small sign at the foot of the container. The sign read: ‘Vee’s Chariot’.
In the book, Kate writes about the nine months she and her mother spent together after her cancer diagnosis and before her death.
“There were days I felt strong, very strong. And then there were days when I caved. Death is a vulnerable place. I structured the book to have an impact on the readers, in hopes of initiating more conversation, or at least thinking more about death. I also purposely take the readers through Vee’s conscious dying process, which is not easy.”
Kate continues to talk about how the book is really her mother’s story.
“‘Launching Vee’s Chariot’ is really Vee’s story; however, I wanted to reveal my internal landscape because I think it’s important.”
Starting the death conversation well in advance is important to Kate, who is part of the Death Café movement. The Death Café objective is to increase awareness of death with a view to helping people make the most of their (finite) lives. A Death Café is a group-directed discussion of death with no agenda, objectives or themes. It is a discussion group rather than a grief support or counseling session.
Kate continues: “Death – it may be the most important conversation you ever have. Our culture insulates itself from death. People miss out in extraordinary ways. There is so much to gain from being with the dying. I work in this field because of the intimacy, vulnerability, and strength that comes with it all.”
Just being there is incredibly important to Kate.
“Holding sacred space; even if no one is talking, one bears witness to a profound time in another’s life. The dying always have a profound influence in the way I choose to live life. Every death I’m involved in changes me in some profound way. The impact affords me appreciation and a greater love for all life.”
Vee died on Sept. 7, 2014 – four days shy of her 87th birthday.