BY DOVE
How many of us resist asking for help when we truly need it. Does the mental narrative you listen to you say, “I don’t want to be a burden. I can do this by myself. Everyone is so busy that I don’t want to impose.”
The reality is that we all need help sometimes and loving ourselves means we are not afraid to ask for help. I am not talking about financial help per se, but physical help to move a piece of furniture, or when you are feeling bad, being willing to call a neighbor to pick something up at the grocery store. How often do we just choose to suffer rather than do the loving thing of “asking for help.”
I will confess that asking for help is one of the hardest things I do. I absolutely resist the idea of being dependent on anyone other than family and I certainly don’t want to impose upon them as they have busy lives. I suggest that maybe we create a list of “helpers” for those that are sick or feeble or unable to drive. Those of us that are able could facilitate the needs of others. Isn’t that what being human is all about? Learning to care for each other without a fee. Maybe just making a phone call and checking to see if some of our older friends need something. I know I get caught up in my chores and projects and don’t always think of those around me that need a kind word, or some arugula from my garden. Most often people just need a hug—that connection to others so they know they are not alone.
I have come to the realization that the essence of being truly human is to love, first yourself, enough to ask for help when needed, and then to give assistance when you are able. I had a strange dream about a friend the other night and I followed through on calling them. Sure enough, they had just been to the ER because of a virus.
Learn to listen to that still small voice inside. When someone pops into your thoughts, it is probably not an accident, it is a message to connect with them and find out what is going on.
I am blessed beyond measure because I have family close and a husband of sixty years who do everything they can to keep connected with me. When my dad was passing many years ago, he was in and out of the body. When he popped back in for a brief moment, he said, “The only thing you get to take with you is the love.” Then he was out of there.
Let us live our lives from that place of not acquiring but loving. After all, that is what humanity is capable of more than any other species. Who knows, maybe we create a help hotline just for those that are lonely and need conversation or hugs or a break from their current reality. Put aside your ego and ask for help when you need it. That takes great courage and self-love. Blessings, Dove