By Fran Jewell
Not all dogs want to be friends with other dogs. And it is a horrible myth that all dogs need to play with other dogs. What is most important to any dog is the relationship it has with you.
There are genetic predispositions to a dog’s temperament that let them be interested in other dog friends. For instance, Labradors and golden retrievers have a high desire to be with other dogs. Many of the herding breeds and guardian breeds may not. They can be offended by other dogs that are pushy and can get into a tussle if pushed too far with an obnoxious greeter.
In general, I think we put way too much pressure on every dog to be social with every dog they see. Frankly, I see most people unaware or uneducated about dog behavior to even notice if their dog is a pushy or bully dog, or if they have a dog that really does not want to socialize.
Like people, some folks are very social and love going to a party. Other folks would rather meet with new people one on one.
Something that can greatly influence a puppy is how they are raised by their breeder or lack of involvement by the breeder. Breeders that don’t allow their young puppies to be socialized with socially safe, vaccinated older dogs at an early age are setting their pups up to be afraid of other dogs. Puppies that are left to be raised by the mother dog only may face the same thing. Knowing the puppy history can help you make a good decision about what puppy will work in your home and with your family.
Of course, there are plenty of rescues that have wonderful temperaments. And puppy environment does make a difference, but not all the difference. Genetic temperament is such a huge influence.
Now, what about friendships? When I see dogs being thrown together in a social situation that they cannot escape from, I am horrified. One of the very best things is to realize that dogs and puppies need to learn to trust another dog before they feel comfortable with each other. Walking together, each on a leash a little distance from each other, is a great way for them to get to know the other dog and build a trusting friendship.
Three years ago I took one of my puppies back from a bad situation. His name is Crowe. His previous owner was not diligent and allowed her 150-pound intact Malamute to brutalize him. Crowe came back to me 10 pounds underweight, with mats in his beautiful long black coat, and scars and open wounds all over his head and neck. The first thing I did before integrating him back with my dogs was to give his poor hormones a chance to resolve. When horrible attacks happen, a dog’s body is filled with many fight-or-flight hormones, such as epinephrine, cortisol, and adrenaline. These hormones need to fade away in order for them not to contribute to fearful behavior. Usually, I recommend at least six weeks of just relaxed time after a confrontation or situation where the dog becomes over frightened. I gave Crowe this time. Then, I took him to a very long driveway belonging to a friend where there were no other dogs. I brought Kalidor along, who is always appropriate in his dog-to-dog behaviors. Together we walked for a mile or two on leash. When I could see that Crowe was more relaxed and trusting Kalidor, I gave him more freedom on a long leash. Within 45 minutes, they were able to trot and run along with each other, although I let Crowe drag his long line so I could stop a situation if it occurred.
The key is to take it easy. Dogs need to make friends at their own speed. We need to pay attention to potential hormonal involvement, which can intensify fearfulness. Please, don’t force any dog to be friends with every dog they see. “He’s friendly” is one of the worst phrases I hear on the trail. Always be aware that the other dog may not want a new friend. And, maybe your dog doesn’t want a new friend! Many dogs will be friends with one dog and not another. They have personality likes and dislikes, just like people.
Help your dog build trust with another dog before forcing them to be in a play situation your dog may not enjoy.
Fran Jewell is a dog behavior consultant, NADOI-certified instructor and vice president. She owns Positive Puppy Dog Training LLC and can be reached at (208) 721-7221.