‘Alzheimer’s – Balancing Safety And Risk’

BY SHAWN WASKO, M.OLP

I have facilitated widowed support groups for over 40 years. During that time, I have heard thousands of stories about spouses dealing with their loved ones with Alzheimer’s disease (AD). It is astonishing how many caregivers are in danger from their loved ones with AD. I also facilitate the CSI Office on Aging Caregiver Support Group and have done so for almost 15 years. The stories I have heard would make you shudder.

I was reading an old newsletter from Caregiver Assistance News today. It was sent to me in January of 2017. I have used this newsletter article in many of my groups over the years and have copied out the article many times. It is titled, “Alzheimer’s – Balancing Safety and Risk.”

I have heard countless stories on AD—many stories on how their loved one still drives with AD and gets lost constantly. We should never say an elderly person with AD can’t drive; they can drive, they just don’t know where they’re driving to, or how to get back home, or if they go on red or green.

I also hear horrifying stories on how a person with AD will beat their spouse. I have caregivers walk into my office with black eyes and bruises all over them. Males and females. AD does not discriminate. The article stated that, “At some point in the course of the disease, people with AD may become physically aggressive… they may hit, kick, bite or pinch the caregiver. Violent behavior may be the way this person is responding to changes in his brain or to events that he doesn’t understand and interprets as dangerous.” Examples of this are when we try to take something away from an AD patient and they may feel threatened, or the person who is asking them to do something they no longer remember and think they are a stranger in their home.

Part of my job, as I have always felt, is to tell caregivers in this situation that keeping a violent AD loved one at home may no longer be feasible. It opens the conversation. Often, they tell me how their wife was the best mom and spouse that ever lived. Many tell me that their husbands were their knight in shining armor, the greatest solider, and most wonderful father. Alzheimer’s steals all of that away.

But the issue is safety. I tell them I know your spouse was wonderful, but right now we need to keep you both safe. I give them resources offered at the Office on Aging that may help. I recommend they call their doctor and find out if the person has a UTI or is sick (sometimes it is that simple). We also talk about the possibility the doctor may recommend drugs. And if that does not work, I offer them the CSI Office on Aging Ombudsman Program as a resourse to help them find an assisted-living or nursing home that has the staff that can work with their loved one.

Please open up the conversation to someone you trust if you are in this type of situation. Remember, it is the disease that causes this behavior, not your loved one and not you.

Sincerely,

Shawna Wasko,

M.OLP

CSI Office on Aging

(208) 736-2122

swasko@csi.edu