My missing tooth, right where I smile, had caused me so much grief. No one looked me in the eye. They’d rather check my teeth.
So I called my favorite dentist. Yes, the one who made the hole. Who charged me half a paycheck. Now I’m broke. Well, bless his soul.
That day my dentist found a tooth just right for this old mouth. He said he’d pulled it early from a patient who went south.
Did I hear my dentist say that he had pulled it from the dead? I had to stop the nitrous. It was messing with my head.
I muffled out the words, “Please hold the nitrous for a while.” The dentist held a mirror and said, “Let’s check out your new smile.”
He said, “Your tooth is really meant for superficial use. You’ll take it out when eating. It can’t handle harsh abuse.”
I shook his hand and thanked him. Then said, “Put it on my bill.” I’m sure I heard “cha-ching” or maybe, “Sure as heck I will!”
I’d only had my tooth for just an hour or maybe two, when I stopped to eat a burger, pulled my tooth so I could chew.
I finished up my lunch and threw the garbage in the can. Then I walked into Cabela’s like a most important man.
But something sure was missing. Then it hit me like a flash. I’d gathered up my brand-new tooth and thrown it in the trash.
So, I turned to dumpster diving. I just had to find my tooth! When a lady handed me a ten, said, “Hope you’ll find God’s truth.”
I didn’t give a second look. I’d dang near lost all hope. And then I saw my brand-new tooth stuck to a bar of soap.
So, that day I learned two lessons. Keep your teeth out of the trash. And start up dumpster diving—you could make some extra cash!
— Bryce Angell