What To Do When A Senior Refuses To Bathe

BY SHAWNA WASKO

I had some articles sent to me by AgingCare on “What to Do When a Senior Refuses to Bathe and Change Their Clothes.” The article, written by Carol Bradley Bursack, stated that this issue is surprisingly common. It is not surprising to us caregivers of dementia. It is a problem I have with my mother and a big problem for caregivers.

Bursack specified that one of the biggest reasons a dementia patient won’t bathe is depression. It is a good idea to have your loved one visit their doctor to see if they have a depression issue. Depression is treatable and treating it may make it easier for you to correct hygiene issues with your loved one.

All people, no matter what, want respect and control over their lives. Being asked to bathe, or pointing out they have an awful odor, is embarrassing and shaming. Some seniors lose a lot of their sense of smell as they age or have become accustomed to the smell and don’t notice it. For some, it may be simply boredom; they may feel that they have nothing to do so why should they clean up.

For some, it may just be they are too cold to shower. They may fear falling in the shower. For most, they don’t want any help bathing. It is too embarrassing. I remember a webinar I attended that talked about how to ease this embarrassment. They recommended that you sew a large poncho out of towels and cover your loved one in it before they enter the shower. You could then take their clothes off under the poncho. They explained that we should wet the poncho down with warm water and put liquid bath soap on the poncho and rub their bodies with the warm soap, then rinse the poncho down. They recommended we put a dry poncho on them after to help dry them off. You then put clothes on them under the poncho to help control embarrassment. This only works if you get agreement from your loved one, of course.

One presentation I heard from a lady who had several long-term care facilities was that they discovered people with dementia/Alzheimer’s disease could not see the color white. A totally white shower that a person cannot see can be scary, especially if water then begins hitting their body. She had color sprayed on all the showers and replaced all toilet seats with red seats. She said it made a big difference for both her male and female residents with dementia. She also found that plates and napkins were white and changed all dinnerware and napkins with bright colors. Interesting.

Bursack also stated that we can tell a person we care for that we are going out to a special dinner. This works with my mom, who has Alzheimer’s disease. She wants to take a bath and have me do her hair if she is going to go out. She likes me to help with picking out something pretty to wear. Even if we go to a Culver’s, she is excited. This also works if I invite her to go get yogurt or ice cream!

If the battle to bathe becomes more than can be remedied, it may be time for long-term care. You can always call our office (208-736-2122) and make an appointment with an ombudsman. Ombudsmen can advise you on which facilities take “memory-care patients.”

Shawna Wasko, M.OLP
Caregiver Support Group Facilitator
CSI Office on Aging
swasko@csi.edu