By Shawna Wasko – CSI Office on Aging
As a caregiver to my parents, I worry about a lot of things. Recently, I Googled the question of caregiver worry and hit on an ALS site. The site used an excerpt from a book by James R. Sherman, Ph.D., called “Coping with Caregiver Worries.”
Sherman’s book was written in 1998 and, in my mind, he nailed the top six things I worry about. Sherman’s list included:
- I worry about running out of money.
Caregiving is expensive. I make my parents’ dinner often, or buy them dinner. I see things they need at the grocery store and buy them things. I leave work to take them to the doctor. I worry about the fact that I can’t afford to quit my job to take care of them. It goes on and on. - I worry about losing my care receiver.
Anticipatory grief is hard. I lose my mother a little every day as her memories fade with Alzheimer’s disease. With Alzheimer’s disease, we lose them before we lose them. - I worry about making a critical caregiving mistake.
Medications are complicated. I worry that I will get something wrong with my parents’ medications. Making these mistakes can be life threating. Scary stuff. - I worry about the effect caregiving is having on my life.
I worry about my mental and physical health. I gain weight, can’t concentrate, feel on edge, and my blood pressure goes up every time my phone rings after 6 at night. I have no time for friends. The house is a mess. Will I even resemble the person I was before when this is over? - I worry about criticism from siblings or other family members.
I don’t worry too much about what my siblings think. They never help, so I figure they don’t get an opinion. I do worry about my parents’ needs rising. They need more help, and sometimes are critical if I can’t spend the amount of time they think I should spend with them. - I worry about being able to provide the care my care receiver really needs.
I worry about the day their needs become so excessive, the only solution will be full-term care in a facility, and they refuse to go.
The first Tuesday of each month, we have a caregivers support group here at the Senior Connection. We know it is sometimes hard to find alternative care, so we are providing free care on-site here at the center. We also encourage you to be our guests for lunch afterward. Please call us with any questions! (208) 788-3468.
