BY FRAN JEWELL
This is my 14th experience, and it never gets easier. I have had to euthanize 13 of my previous pets, and while each one of my animals has taught me invaluable lessons in life, loving, compassion, respect and fairness, losing one is still a heart-wrenching part of life. While animals don’t fear death, or even contemplate death, we humans sure do. We anticipate life without them and feel such grief. The more we love them, the harder it is.
One of my precious dogs, Baewulf, has cancer. His life expectancy is unclear at this point. While there is some hope with radiation treatment, I have had to make some very hard decisions about what I am willing to put Baewulf through as an 11-year-old when he doesn’t understand why. I cannot explain to him an extended stay at Washington State University, for radiation, living in a kennel without his brother or me or the comfort of his own bed. I cannot explain to him why he would have to suffer the pain of surgery that may or may not give him a few more months. I cannot explain why he can no longer eat because chemo has upset his stomach.
I have to give serious thought to his happiness, and mine. Am I willing to put him through so much treatment that it makes the end of his life miserable for a few extra months for me to have him near me? Is there some moderate way that I can give him some treatment that is not painful, or leaves him alone and away from his family?
My priority is his comfort and happiness, not my need to have him here longer. It is also a financial decision. Can I even afford to give him heroic care that won’t devastate me financially?
When we have animals in our lives, we will all have to face these decisions. While I am no expert in when to let a pet take his journey to the other side, I am willing to share with you my journey to find solace in losing Baewulf. Last year, I lost three of my dogs, my sister, and two of my closest friends.
Grief is a difficult thing and we all deal with it in the way we must. What is important to share here is that we must accept that we are going to have grief over losing a dog, or other pet that has been an integral part of our lives. We must make the decision that is right for our pet and for us. What I do may not be what you would do, or what you would want to do.
Some of us should seek counseling, or the compassion of a close friend. Some of us will share our feelings. Others of us will keep our grief close to our heart and not share with another. Our decisions about the end of a pet’s life are our own. Many times, talking to someone who has already been through it can be a blessing. My hope here is to encourage nonjudgmental support to our friends going through these tough decisions, but also to encourage any of us going through this to seek solace in whatever way makes sense to you. But, feel okay to grieve. Losing a pet is as traumatic as losing a human loved one.
