Do you have friends who seem to be changing, whose normally sunny dispositions have become darker, even bitter or surly? These changes can be quite common in an aging personality, for any number of reasons. Perhaps one or more of these all-too-real issues is affecting your friend:
- loneliness
- health problems or fatigue
- loss of a loved one
- money issues
- mental decline
These changes can be debilitating and difficult to overcome, and while you may be bending over backward to cheer up your friend, it’s a big job – and one you shouldn’t have to tackle alone.
If you know that someone is suffering and unusually sad, you might try to help him or her by offering suggestions for professional help. The Senior Connection can provide information and direct you to resources that are available in our community. Call The Senior Connection at 788-3468 for a list of providers in various fields, from financial advisors and grief counselors to attorneys and elder care advocates. While we don’t provide counseling ourselves, we can certainly put you in touch with the people who can help you and your friend. Many advisors offer their services at little or no cost to seniors.
Some advice from a wise local philosopher, a.k.a. Santa Claus, who is also weekly Meals on Wheels driver, Jack Williams: If a dear friend has been filling your time together with complaints and sad stories, try limiting the amount of time devoted to this. Announce that you’ll listen intently and commiserate for fifteen minutes, and then the subject will change to lighter topics. They’ll appreciate a chance to discuss their problems, but there will be a break in sight and you’ll be able to finish your visit on a brighter note. They’ll feel that their complaints have been addressed and you’ll feel that you want to continue to spend your time with that friend. It’s a win-win!
For your own wellbeing, seek out other friends, old and new, who smile and make you laugh. You may not be ready to part ways with your unsmiling friends, but at least you can surround yourself with those who make you happy. Spend your time with positive, cheerful people and it will rub off on you. As the old saying goes, “Happiness begets happiness.”
Come to The Senior Connection to socialize with current friends and meet new ones. We provide an excellent lunch for seniors each weekday and the suggested donation is only $5 for those who are age 60 and over, although any donation up to $5 is welcome! A month of menus is in each Senior Connection newsletter.
The executive director of The Senior Connection, Teresa Beahen Lipman, recommends an excellent novel related to this topic – “A Man Called Ove,” written by Swedish author Fredrik Backman. It’s the story of a man who has become grumpy after a series of sad events in his life. He is positively affected by boisterous neighbors and caring young people, and he becomes a loveable figure in their lives. This story is also available as a movie, and both can be checked out of our local public libraries.
