BY JOELLEN COLLINS
Although many identify the Serenity Prayer only with 12-step groups, I have come to think of it as a universal prescription for how to handle conflicts, both personal and political.
In case you’ve somehow missed it, the prayer reads: “God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.”
Over the years, I have worked diligently on applying the first two parts of the prayer. Being a grandmother who adores both parents and my children, I have had to mentally recite the acceptance part of this plea. My advice, if unsolicited, will not change the way my daughter and her husband choose to discipline or be lenient toward their precious offspring. Nor, should I rarely be “right,” does an “I told you so” help my relationship with all of them. So much of the behavior of others is rightly out of my control.
Politically, I have reluctantly come to realize that I cannot change the views of millions of Americans who, I feel, abuse our political systems and elect officials with whom I strongly differ. Certainly I alone cannot alter their beliefs. I may need to mind my own business. Nor can I heal the misery of the rest of the world, so evident to the generations who see and hear so much through media coverage and the ease of foreign travel, which I didn’t have when young.
This idea, of course, leads to the prayer’s second part: the courage to change the things I can. While I certainly cannot shift the opinions of millions of Americans, I certainly CAN vote and then, whether pleased or not with the results, continue civil discourse and respect for others as well as nourish my own sense of self-respect. I cannot change how others act, but I can better myself and live as positive and contributory a life as possible.
The hardest part is the third section: “Grant me the wisdom to know the difference.” I view that statement as a daily mantra for me in my interactions with others. When should I be vocal in a protest against actions that are abhorrent to me? I admire those committed and, yes, courageous citizens who speak out and support with facts their concerns about how we are governed. When should I join them or simply turn my dismay with our ruling bodies over and decide that I have no control over them?
It seems harder and harder to acquire the wisdom the Serenity Prayer proposes. Do I really think that my voice, if heard and respected, can change the outcome of a hideous action? In today’s world, the choice between confrontation and calm acceptance seems always to enter my daily life. How can I abhor the treatment toward people who differ with established policies and yet keep my focus on my
