The Spell of Kindness

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JoEllen Collins—a longtime resident of the Wood River Valley—is a teacher, writer, fabric artist, choir member and unabashedly proud grandma known as “Bibi Jo.”
JoEllen Collins—a longtime resident of the Wood River Valley—is a teacher, writer, fabric artist, choir member and unabashedly proud grandma known as “Bibi Jo.”

During the onslaught of inflammatory rhetoric, the abuse of the Internet for hateful slander and bullying, and all the vicious attacks that fill our television screens daily, I struggle to maintain my optimism about the environment in which my grandchildren will mature. It is almost a cliché to bemoan the hateful world we inhabit, but I am trying another approach to avoid losing my sense of peace and my desire to keep joy in my life and in others’.

I have been accused of having a bleeding heart, wasting time on the sad emotions of others. Of course, I was lucky to be adopted by affectionate, loving, and empathetic parents who embodied kindness. I was admonished never to say anything about anyone unless it was positive. Although I have occasionally faltered in this behavior by engaging in petty gossip, I have worked on not hurting others most of my life. Unfortunately, the storyteller in me often pops up to satisfy an urge to entertain or get a wry response to my words. I apologize.

The Dalai Lama said, “My religion is very simple. My religion is kindness.” Recently, I noted two examples of this blessed belief. I fell flat down (again) behind Starbucks several days ago. However, the kindness displayed by the people enjoying morning coffee was an immediate step to healing. Apparently my blood pressure was extremely high, and I was shaking, but drinks of water, ice cubes wrapped to put on my head, and offers of help by four or five lovely patrons was a reminder of the joys of being surrounded by the kind of people who are attracted to the Wood River Valley. So glad I live here!

I also witnessed the kindness of strangers when I saw the miraculous recovery of a woman trapped in her car during the sudden flooding in Ellicott, Maryland. Some brave souls made a human chain to get her out. Although the first man near her was swept away, he returned to help the other heroes.

Just yesterday I was working with a friend on some editing. I admire and respect this woman for her generous and welcome soul. As we discussed changes to a piece, I realized that I was enjoying the process, although “business,” especially because we treat each other with kindness. This rare ingredient, not hostility, helps create joy at work and other places.

I have come to understand that kindness is an essential element of the success of our daily encounters with our fellows. I am not going to feel excessive anymore when I sincerely compliment someone. I hope all of us who want to facilitate a better world can learn from Mark Twain, who said, “Kindness is the language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see.” I desire to use my voice and my behavior in a kindly manner.

Although practicing kindness might seem futile in these turbulent times, perhaps our small corner of the universe can be even a small part of a better world.