BY SHAWNA WASKO, M.OLP
I ran across an article recently by DailyCaring on the difference between compassion fatigue and burnout when it comes to the caregiver. Caregiving is an all-consuming responsibility that can put you at risk for compassion fatigue. Compassion fatigue is a side effect of caring for someone in need. It can cause physical and emotional exhaustion and often reduces our ability to empathize with those we care for. It is common in doctors, nurses, and other health professionals and also with caregivers, like me and many of you.
Compassion fatigue and burnout have very similar symptoms, but there are some key differences. Burnout usually develops over time. Top signs of burnout include emotional and physical exhaustion, feelings of negativity and indifference, and feelings like you are not getting the job that needs to be done for your loved one’s safety and care.
Compassion fatigue happens when you become traumatized by your care receiver’s suffering. It can come on more quickly than burnout. You feel empathy for your loved one and want to help but you can quickly feel overwhelmed by the symptoms. This, over time, can lead to burnout also.
Common symptoms of compassion fatigue include:
Physical or emotional exhaustion (or both)
Reduced feelings of sympathy or empathy
Dreading taking care of someone and feeling guilty about it
Feeling irritable, angry, or anxious
Headaches
Trouble sleeping
Isolating yourself
Feeling disconnected
Reduced sense of accomplishment or meaning in caregiving
Trouble making decisions
Problems in personal relationships
Burnout symptoms:
Withdrawal from friends, family, and other loved ones
Loss of interest in activities previously enjoyed
Feeling blue, irritable, hopeless, and helpless
Changes in appetite, weight, or both
Changes in sleep patterns
Getting sick more often
After reading the article, I realized I felt both burnout and compassion fatigue. As I cared for my mother with Alzheimer’s disease, I became overwhelmed with her failing health, her failing memory, and her failing to be able to do basic daily activities. My compassion fatigue was overwhelming. I found myself having more headaches, dreading seeing my mother in this condition, I could not make even easy decisions, and the anger I felt at everyone made me unbearable to be around. I became both physically and emotionally exhausted.
Burnout has happened to me also, but not with my mother. Burnout has happened as I continue to care for my dad. He is cranky and demanding. He feels I never do enough for him, while my mom, until she was unable to talk, was always grateful for whatever you did for her. My dad has developed cataracts in each eye. The left eye is the worst. My dad, at the ripe old age of 85, refuses to put his drops in his eyes. When you have cataract surgery you have to have drops in your eyes three times a day. So, I go over morning, noon and night and put drops in my dad’s eyes. This is a six-week process. His left eye had the worse cataract and so, therefore, his eye had a swelling problem, which required another eye drop that had to be administered a half hour after the medicated drop in his left eye. Dad squints his eyes and shuts them when you try to put a drop in his eye. I am forced to pull the eyelid up and the lower eyelid down, which he resists and tells me I am hurting him. Did I mention six weeks? Dad needs more care than I can give him but refuses to go into assisted living.
I am sick more often, haven’t slept through the night in years, have gained weight, and finding joy is difficult most days. This article I read talked about self-care, but any caregiver knows that the minute you sit in a hot bubble bath, the phone will ring, and it is your loved one wanting you to go to Norm’s Café and buy them some chicken noodles for dinner.
I work hard at being extra nice to my dad. It is the only advice I can give you. The crankier he is, the sweeter I talk to him. It takes a lot to do this, but it is harder on both of us if I lose my temper, too.
I will end this by insisting that if any of you cannot put drops in your eyes, to buck up, figure it out, stop being a baby and learn how to do it before you have cataract surgery! We need to do for ourselves as much as we can, for as long as we can. Again, did I mention six weeks?
Sincerely,
Shawna Wasko, M.OLP
CSI Office on Aging
swasko@csi.edu
