{"id":20910,"date":"2024-05-29T00:04:03","date_gmt":"2024-05-29T06:04:03","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/woodriverweekly.com\/?p=20910"},"modified":"2024-05-27T16:05:26","modified_gmt":"2024-05-27T22:05:26","slug":"mr-garretts-grasshopper","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/woodriverweekly.com\/index.php\/2024\/05\/29\/mr-garretts-grasshopper\/","title":{"rendered":"Mr. Garrett\u2019s Grasshopper"},"content":{"rendered":"
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Bryce Angell – The outdoors has always been a large part of my life. My father was an outfitter and guide for 35 years and I was there to shoe and care for the horses and help him do the cooking. We took many great trips into the Yellowstone area. Even now that I\u2019m older, we still ride into the Tetons, Yellowstone and surrounding areas. My poems are mostly of personal experience. I am now retired and enjoying life to the fullest. I plan to do more riding and writing.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

My cousin and I had Mr. Garrett\u2019s sophomore biology class just after our school lunch. With our bellies full and a room with no air conditioning or window shades, we struggled to stay awake when Mr. Garrett\u2019s monotone voice would push us over the edge into a coma.<\/span><\/p>\n

Mr. Garrett was alarmingly thin yet unexpectedly agile. While teaching he would stand with one foot on the floor and the other on the desktop, both arms easily folded behind his back. He always wore a wool vest suit, no matter the season. By the time my cousin and I had Mr. Garrett, he\u2019d been teaching for decades. His first year in the classroom was my father\u2019s class. He was an incredible teacher and the kindest man I\u2019d ever met.<\/span><\/p>\n

On one particular Friday we were eagerly anticipating the end of the school day and anxious for the weekend. But when we arrived at class, Mr. Garrett had newspapers strategically laid out on every desk with a large dead grasshopper poised in the center of your work area. These weren\u2019t the grasshoppers you put on the end of a hook to brag about the two-pounder you never really caught. Mr. Garrett\u2019s grasshoppers were 6-8 inches long, big enough to catch Jonah\u2019s Whale.<\/span><\/p>\n

The object was to dissect the arthropod by following Mr. Garrett\u2019s lead. Fairly simple. I was about to slice the head from the body when Jackson, across the aisle, hollered in a whisper, \u201cI\u2019ll eat the head if you give me five bucks.\u201d I\u2019m a curious person so I answered, \u201cWhy not.\u201d Then he said, \u201cCome up with twenty dollars and I\u2019ll eat the whole grasshopper.\u201d Half a dozen other guys heard the offer and wanted in. We came up with 18 one-dollar bills, four quarters and a handful of nickels, dimes and pennies.<\/span><\/p>\n

Jackson said, \u201cGood enough,\u201d and before I could say, \u201cGo for it, Jackson,\u201d he ripped the head off and started chomping away. We all stared in amazement and cringed at the different sounds each body part made as Jackson ate his afternoon locust snack.<\/span><\/p>\n

Well, sure as hogs are made out of bacon, the commotion was getting out of hand when Mr. Garrett came striding down between the rows. One queasy girl behind Jackson was covering her mouth, like, any second now. I have to admit my stomach rolled a time or two, as well.<\/span><\/p>\n

Our teacher exclaimed in his Mr. Garrett fashion, \u201cWhat\u2019s all the fuss?\u201d Then, staring Jackson down, he inquired, \u201cJackson, where would your grasshopper be?\u201d Jackson\u2019s answer was classic. \u201cWell, Mr. Garrett, Sir. I ate it.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

The look on Mr. Garrett\u2019s face was a mix of shock and befuddlement. Without saying a word, he retreated to his desk to ponder the absurdity of the situation and what to say next. He then asked if anyone else in the classroom had an appetite for their grasshopper and apologized for not bringing fry sauce. The class tension immediately turned to laughter and relief.<\/span><\/p>\n

I don\u2019t remember if Jackson got another grasshopper to dissect. I don\u2019t know if he even cared.<\/span><\/p>\n

If I had to guess, I\u2019d say he received an incomplete for the day. Too bad. This country boy would have given him an A.<\/span><\/p>\n

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My cousin and I had Mr. Garrett\u2019s sophomore biology class just after our school lunch. With our bellies full and a room with no air conditioning or window shades, we struggled to stay awake when Mr. Garrett\u2019s monotone voice would push us over the edge into a coma. Mr. Garrett was alarmingly thin yet unexpectedly […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"tdm_status":"","tdm_grid_status":"","_pvb_checkbox_block_on_post":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[160,62,2],"tags":[],"class_list":{"0":"post-20910","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","6":"category-cowboy-poetry","7":"category-art","8":"category-commentary"},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/woodriverweekly.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/20910","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/woodriverweekly.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/woodriverweekly.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/woodriverweekly.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/woodriverweekly.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=20910"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/woodriverweekly.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/20910\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":20911,"href":"https:\/\/woodriverweekly.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/20910\/revisions\/20911"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/woodriverweekly.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=20910"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/woodriverweekly.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=20910"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/woodriverweekly.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=20910"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}