{"id":20860,"date":"2024-05-15T00:46:40","date_gmt":"2024-05-15T06:46:40","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/woodriverweekly.com\/?p=20860"},"modified":"2024-05-14T09:47:47","modified_gmt":"2024-05-14T15:47:47","slug":"his-morning-chew","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/woodriverweekly.com\/index.php\/2024\/05\/15\/his-morning-chew\/","title":{"rendered":"HIS MORNING CHEW"},"content":{"rendered":"
\"\"
Bryce Angell – The outdoors has always been a large part of my life. My father was an outfitter and guide for 35 years and I was there to shoe and care for the horses and help him do the cooking. We took many great trips into the Yellowstone area. Even now that I\u2019m older, we still ride into the Tetons, Yellowstone and surrounding areas. My poems are mostly of personal experience. I am now retired and enjoying life to the fullest. I plan to do more riding and writing.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

The sign read on the classroom door, \u201cYou\u2019ve been assigned a seat.\u201d I left my house at 4 a.m. Hadn\u2019t taken time to eat.<\/p>\n

If I\u2019d have stopped at Denny\u2019s for their eggs and bacon plate, I\u2019d still be on the road and walking in an hour late.<\/p>\n

So, I gazed across the rows of cowboy hats and bolo ties. Then read my name pinned to a chair. Could not believe my eyes.<\/p>\n

\u2018Cuz my seat was in the front row. One I didn\u2019t want to keep. Just feet from the instructor. How was I to get some sleep?<\/p>\n

The time was 8 o\u2019clock straight up. I hurried to my chair. The instructor stood and introduced himself as Mr. Blair.<\/p>\n

His pants and shirt were pressed and not a hair was out of place. He wore a gentle smile on a fresh clean-shaven face.<\/p>\n

His Charvet Silken Men\u2019s Bowtie was expensive but the best. He was a proper gentleman, aside from all the rest.<\/p>\n

And sitting there beside me was a grizzled ornery type. His eyes were red and swollen and he smelled Jack Daniels ripe.<\/p>\n

I watched him take a can of Coke and down in one big gulp. Then promptly stuffed his cheek plumb full of Beech-Nut chewing pulp.<\/p>\n

The rough old fellow tore the lid right off the can of pop. He spit some drool. His aim was true and didn\u2019t miss a drop.<\/p>\n

All morning I would see him slobber chew into the can. Each time he spit, my stomach rolled. There ought to be a ban.<\/p>\n

And then our fine instructor spoke right up and saved the day. He straightly told the gruff old man, \u201cSir, put your chew away!\u201d<\/p>\n

The old man then obliged him. Spit the whole of darkest brown. Then put the can up to his mouth and drank it all straight down.<\/p>\n

Our traumatized instructor tossed his waffles on the floor. My stomach was plumb empty or there\u2019d been more puke for sure.<\/p>\n

The class dismissed for lunch but not a single person ate. Each said they\u2019d lost their appetite. One said, \u201cI\u2019d rather wait.\u201d<\/p>\n

There was no sign of the old man. Did not come back to class. I wondered if our queasy stomach teacher chewed his butt?<\/p>\n

I understand a man who chews. But in class there\u2019s no excuse. So if you\u2019re sitting next to me please swallow all your juice.<\/p>\n

\u2013 Bryce Angell<\/p>\n

\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

The sign read on the classroom door, \u201cYou\u2019ve been assigned a seat.\u201d I left my house at 4 a.m. Hadn\u2019t taken time to eat. If I\u2019d have stopped at Denny\u2019s for their eggs and bacon plate, I\u2019d still be on the road and walking in an hour late. So, I gazed across the rows of […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"tdm_status":"","tdm_grid_status":"","_pvb_checkbox_block_on_post":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[160,2],"tags":[],"class_list":{"0":"post-20860","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","6":"category-cowboy-poetry","7":"category-commentary"},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/woodriverweekly.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/20860","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/woodriverweekly.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/woodriverweekly.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/woodriverweekly.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/woodriverweekly.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=20860"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/woodriverweekly.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/20860\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":20861,"href":"https:\/\/woodriverweekly.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/20860\/revisions\/20861"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/woodriverweekly.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=20860"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/woodriverweekly.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=20860"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/woodriverweekly.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=20860"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}