{"id":20428,"date":"2024-01-24T00:49:01","date_gmt":"2024-01-24T07:49:01","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/woodriverweekly.com\/?p=20428"},"modified":"2024-01-22T13:50:35","modified_gmt":"2024-01-22T20:50:35","slug":"britches-in-a-dither","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/woodriverweekly.com\/index.php\/2024\/01\/24\/britches-in-a-dither\/","title":{"rendered":"Britches In A Dither"},"content":{"rendered":"
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Bryce Angell – The outdoors has always been a large part of my life. My father was an outfitter and guide for 35 years and I was there to shoe and care for the horses and help him do the cooking. We took many great trips into the Yellowstone area. Even now that I\u2019m older, we still ride into the Tetons, Yellowstone and surrounding areas. My poems are mostly of personal experience. I am now retired and enjoying life to the fullest. I plan to do more riding and writing.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

I\u2019m short by all the standards, \u2018cuz I stand at five-foot-three. It had never been a problem, \u2018til one day I\u2019d disagree.
\nI shopped at Merkle\u2019s country store. He carried all we\u2019d need. From Wrangler pants to fresh farm eggs, right next to chicken feed.
\nOn pay day I drove down to Merkle\u2019s store to buy some jeans. Old Merkle said, \u201cYou\u2019ll find \u2018em stacked behind the pork and beans.\u201d
\nI fumbled through the sizes, found a pair that fit just right. But the Wranglers were all priced the same, no matter what your height.
\nI\u2019d taken economics and this wasn\u2019t making sense. The cowboys with the longer legs weren\u2019t sharing my expense.
\nMy inseam\u2019s length is 30 and that\u2019s stretching it a bit. An inseam long as 36 would reach to my armpit.
\nSo 36, then take away my 30, leaves some doubt. \u2018Cuz now there\u2019s 6 whole inches that a short man\u2019s paying out.
\nMr. Merkle did his best to reason out with me. He said, \u201cThose pants are always priced right from the factory.\u201d
\nWell, paying more for trousers kinda stuck right in my craw. I said to Mr. Merkle, \u201cSir, there oughta be a law.\u201d
\nMr. Merkle probably thought, \u201cThis guy\u2019s a case, for sure. And hopefully he\u2019ll grab his pants and head on out the door!\u201d
\nI vowed to get my money\u2019s worth and prove the price was wrong. So I bought a pair of brand-new pants six sizes extra-long.
\nI pulled my brand-new britches on and cinched my belt up tight. Ole Merkle shook his head and said, \u201cYou\u2019re really quite a sight.\u201d
\nI thanked him for the compliment. How nice of him to say. Then hiked my extra-long jeans up and headed on my way.
\nIt only took a minute for my long pants to slip down. They snagged a small but jagged rock \u2014 face planted to the ground.
\nMy extra-long new Wranglers were all frayed and torn by noon. So I trimmed \u2018em with my knife. Looked like a country boy buffoon!
\nI\u2019d stewed in such a dither and I\u2019ve never been more wrong. \u2018Cuz I bought my brand-new Wranglers six sizes extra long!
\nSo, I hurried back to Merkles for some 30-inseam jeans. Old Merkle stood there smiling, said, \u201cBehind the pork and beans.\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I\u2019m short by all the standards, \u2018cuz I stand at five-foot-three. It had never been a problem, \u2018til one day I\u2019d disagree. I shopped at Merkle\u2019s country store. He carried all we\u2019d need. From Wrangler pants to fresh farm eggs, right next to chicken feed. On pay day I drove down to Merkle\u2019s store to […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"tdm_status":"","tdm_grid_status":"","_pvb_checkbox_block_on_post":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[160,2],"tags":[],"class_list":{"0":"post-20428","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","6":"category-cowboy-poetry","7":"category-commentary"},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/woodriverweekly.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/20428","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/woodriverweekly.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/woodriverweekly.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/woodriverweekly.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/woodriverweekly.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=20428"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/woodriverweekly.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/20428\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":20429,"href":"https:\/\/woodriverweekly.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/20428\/revisions\/20429"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/woodriverweekly.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=20428"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/woodriverweekly.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=20428"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/woodriverweekly.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=20428"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}