{"id":18587,"date":"2022-09-07T00:34:07","date_gmt":"2022-09-07T00:34:07","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/woodriverweekly.com\/?p=18587"},"modified":"2022-09-06T20:35:42","modified_gmt":"2022-09-06T20:35:42","slug":"mineral-oil","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/woodriverweekly.com\/index.php\/2022\/09\/07\/mineral-oil\/","title":{"rendered":"MINERAL OIL"},"content":{"rendered":"
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Bryce Angell – The outdoors has always been a large part of my life. My father was an outfitter and guide for 35 years and I was there to shoe and care for the horses and help him do the cooking. We took many great trips into the Yellowstone area. Even now that I\u2019m older, we still ride into the Tetons, Yellowstone and surrounding areas. My poems are mostly of personal experience. I am now retired and enjoying life to the fullest. I plan to do more riding and writing.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

I remember when I worked as a post-surgery R.N.\u00a0 <\/span>I\u2019d see patients suffering side effects from surgeries back then.<\/p>\n

Each morning when the elevator opened on my floor, I would get a list of patients who were feeling mighty sore.<\/p>\n

They all had major surgery. Let\u2019s say they\u2019d been tuned up. But now were nauseated \u2018cuz they seemed to be plugged up.<\/p>\n

I\u2019m not talking \u2018bout their sinus or that brown stuff in the ear. I\u2019m talking down there farther south and a little to the rear.<\/p>\n

There is an old-time remedy of mineral oil to cure. It\u2019s awful to the taste, but it will loosen you for sure.<\/p>\n

That mineral oil will clean you out. It\u2019ll find a way somehow. I told an older patient, \u201cJust be glad you\u2019re not a cow.\u201d<\/p>\n

That fellow gave a look at me like, \u201cHave you lost your mind?\u201d He was hobbling for the toilet, left me standing there behind.<\/p>\n

I couldn\u2019t help but notice how he hobbled extra fast. He was \u2018bout to feel relief, his constipation wouldn\u2019t last.<\/p>\n

I said, \u201cYou see, when I was young, we milked cows on the farm. Those danged old cows would get plugged up. A sure cause for alarm.<\/p>\n

\u201cBut we always had a quart or two of mineral oil on hand. We\u2019d pour it down the cow. If not, the cow would soon expand.\u201d<\/p>\n

I wondered how a cow could drink a quart of mineral oil. It wasn\u2019t long before her innards rumbled in turmoil.<\/p>\n

The growling and the gurgling gas would soon come flying out. The mineral oil had remedied the plugged-up cow, no doubt.<\/p>\n

I learned that you should never, ever stand back at their rear. My cousin caught a blast and it was more than just a smear.\u00a0 \u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

So then I told him, \u201cSir, I see you\u2019ve been up twice to go. The mineral oil has done its job, and not a bit too slow.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ll stand back here and help you make your way back to the john. But please give me a warning if a cough is coming on.\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I remember when I worked as a post-surgery R.N.\u00a0 I\u2019d see patients suffering side effects from surgeries back then. Each morning when the elevator opened on my floor, I would get a list of patients who were feeling mighty sore. They all had major surgery. Let\u2019s say they\u2019d been tuned up. But now were nauseated […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"tdm_status":"","tdm_grid_status":"","_pvb_checkbox_block_on_post":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[160,2],"tags":[],"class_list":{"0":"post-18587","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","6":"category-cowboy-poetry","7":"category-commentary"},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/woodriverweekly.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/18587","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/woodriverweekly.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/woodriverweekly.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/woodriverweekly.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/woodriverweekly.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=18587"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/woodriverweekly.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/18587\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":18591,"href":"https:\/\/woodriverweekly.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/18587\/revisions\/18591"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/woodriverweekly.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=18587"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/woodriverweekly.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=18587"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/woodriverweekly.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=18587"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}