{"id":17050,"date":"2021-12-01T00:19:36","date_gmt":"2021-12-01T00:19:36","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/woodriverweekly.com\/?p=17050"},"modified":"2021-11-30T20:24:26","modified_gmt":"2021-11-30T20:24:26","slug":"unmask-your-x-mas-spirit","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/woodriverweekly.com\/index.php\/2021\/12\/01\/unmask-your-x-mas-spirit\/","title":{"rendered":"Unmask Your X-mas Spirit"},"content":{"rendered":"

By Eric Valentine<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cWhether or not we\u2019re headed into a bleak or bleaker winter is dependent on what we do\u2026 We want to be prepared for the worst.\u201d <\/span><\/p>\n

That\u2019s what Dr. Anthony Fauci said on Meet The Press last Sunday regarding \u2026 Christmas shopping! That\u2019s right, the holidays are here and it\u2019s time for gift-giving, merriment and gluttony\u2014enough of the latter to require a resolution for the ages, something about losing weight, but of course for just health reasons. The vanity has until late spring, when bikini-shape takes over modern consciousness. Mushrooms anyone?<\/span><\/p>\n

The brand-spanking-new Omicron variant of the coronavirus is about three weeks away from hitting American shores (and some resort-area mountains, too), experts say. And with its 30-mutation spike protein, it\u2019s likely to spread faster than the Delta variant of COVID that\u2019s still packing the majority of ICUs across the United States. Just one more thing we can all disagree about. Bah humbug!<\/span><\/p>\n

So, rather than \u201cblame the media\u201d or claim \u201cTrump made everything worse\u201d or [insert most recent Biden joke here \u2026 none have really stuck yet, it seems] for the kerfuffles that are about to occur, consider during your holiday shopping sprees an online purchase of a product that unites us all, rather than divides\u2014the face covering with attitude, the mandatory-in-67%-of-all-places accessory, a mask. Specifically, one from MaskingMore.com.<\/span><\/p>\n

Masking More is a brand established by B.C. Hatch, a former fashion model and contestant on \u201cAmerica\u2019s Next Top Model \u2013 Cycle 8\u201d who now authors and designs children\u2019s books for her own publishing company. It\u2019s a background that explains mask designs like the tip-of-the-cap to Dr. Fauci that simply says \u201cFAUCI\u201d with a logo that references the famous (infamous?) Gucci brand. And full disclosure, Hatch partnered with me on the copywriting. That explains masks like the one with a sheep and the words \u201cI\u2019m a Baaaa-dass\u201d on it. It also explains soon-to-come T-shirts with the words \u201cI got vaccinated last month and my stupid microchip still doesn\u2019t work.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

The masks poke a little fun at both sides of the philosophical spectrum\u2014OK, they definitely swing a bit to the left\u2014while still doing what they\u2019re supposed to do: mind control us \u2026 I mean prevent a few bacteria and viruses in one person from entering inside our nose and mouth. I realize that experience is so popular there\u2019s probably a whole category on Pornhub for that sort of thing, but a real-life demo can wait until the pandemic is over. <\/span><\/p>\n

For the time being, think of it this way. You put on your underpants, right? But really, they\u2019re under pants, so the rule is kind of like: \u201cUnderwear Optional!\u201d Now imagine it\u2019s half-off kale smoothies week or wet burrito Wednesday at the office cafeteria, can\u2019t we all agree it\u2019s a really good idea to wear underpants that day? Well, folks, it\u2019s Thursday morning and you like rayon blends. <\/span><\/p>\n

What unites us is this: We all want normal as close to now as possible. And a touch of humor might be the prescription we all need to ring in the world\u2019s best medicine\u2014laughter, from ear to ear.<\/span><\/p>\n

Look, all this kerfuffle is why MaskingMore is trying to make wearing a mask a little more fun. So fun, you might wear them for the rest of forever. Wait \u2026 that\u2019s what some folks are afraid of. America, what a mess! Christmas, even messier!<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

By Eric Valentine \u201cWhether or not we\u2019re headed into a bleak or bleaker winter is dependent on what we do\u2026 We want to be prepared for the worst.\u201d That\u2019s what Dr. Anthony Fauci said on Meet The Press last Sunday regarding \u2026 Christmas shopping! That\u2019s right, the holidays are here and it\u2019s time for gift-giving, […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":17052,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"tdm_status":"","tdm_grid_status":"","_pvb_checkbox_block_on_post":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[2],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-17050","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","category-commentary"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/woodriverweekly.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/17050","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/woodriverweekly.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/woodriverweekly.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/woodriverweekly.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/woodriverweekly.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=17050"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/woodriverweekly.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/17050\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":17051,"href":"https:\/\/woodriverweekly.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/17050\/revisions\/17051"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/woodriverweekly.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/17052"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/woodriverweekly.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=17050"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/woodriverweekly.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=17050"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/woodriverweekly.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=17050"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}